Welcome to my blog, this has been a long time coming and I am excited to embark on this journey with you all.
I’d love to take credit for choosing this topic but in some way it chose me! I have been on a journey to Health and Wellness since 2012.
Even before finding out I had cancer I had been compelled to start watching YouTube channels that focused on Raw Food, alkaline foods, and positive affirmations. I watched lots of vlogs and some resonated with me and others not so much. I watched them for edutainment, but they had minimal impact on my actions.
At that time in my life, I was holding resentment, grudges and unforgiveness towards friends, family members and acquaintances. What I didn’t realize was that my negative emotions were in direct correlation to my physical state of being.
Well let’s look backwards for a minute… I grew up in a single parent household from the age of 8 years old. My father lived ten minutes away from our home but we rarely saw him for more than ten minutes each week when he would drop off our weekly travel pass money for school.
Instead of holding resentment towards my father for his absence, I aimed it all at my mother, she was the cause of my misery I told myself and no matter how much she did it was never enough! She was not my father and could not fill that void. I also held a mammoth grudge towards my step mother who was fortunate enough to have my father residing in her home. I envied that she was able to speak to him on a daily basis and that she was who he chose to spend his time with.
As the years passed my ability to hold grudges developed into somewhat of an art form! I could do it with ease over the slightest incident that didn’t please me. I was able to cut a person out of my life over minor things and really believed that it didn’t affect me. I would justify my actions to anyone that questioned me and my stories were always compelling enough that no further questions would be asked.
What I didn’t then understand was that as I maneuvered through life harboring all of the resentment, grudges and unforgiveness I was creating a toxic environment within my body that would later erupt like a volcano.
My Cancer journey is a long story, but in a nutshell as soon as I began the journey of forgiveness there was a shift in my healing experience. Battling cancer made me angry, my default setting had become anger and I was angry that life had once again thrown me a curve ball. But as I progressively got sicker, my anger subsided and all I was left with was emptiness. In that emptiness I looked within and was able to reflect on how cancer had been able to flourish in the first place. As I sat in solitude, I could hear the stories I had told to be right and justify my actions and diminish the actions of others. I was able to relieve the past arguments and see both sides. I sat in solitude with my thoughts and memories for nearly two weeks fighting myself in an effort not to be wrong or be seen as the bad one in any given situation. It was hell, not only was my body in physical pain but my emotions were also in turmoil.
Suddenly I came to the realization that I needed to forgive myself!
That was the first and most powerful step in my transformation. I chose it, I spoke it out loud and I committed to forgiving myself for how I felt about myself, the ways I had treated myself, and the lies I had told myself (through toxic thoughts).
I then turned my attention to forgiving others, and how I had been treating those around me. I cried and wept. There was a sense of relief and in that moment and I knew I would get well, because I needed to share what I had just understood.
Now let’s look at how your emotions affect your body:
Well, we know that if you eat acidic foods you will have an acidic PH level, making your body acidic, but what we somehow overlook is that our thoughts can be just as acidic to the overall wellness of our bodies!
You’ve heard of the Mind, Body connection, well there is truth to it!
I encourage you to check out Dr Masaru Emoto’s book The Hidden Messages In Water which demonstrates the effects of thoughts on water. Now just think, our bodies are 80% water, so if you are having negative thoughts and even negative self-thoughts like guilt and shame what affects could that be having on your physical terrain?
Professor Jon Kabat-Zinn details the role our emotions play in our health in his book entitled Full Catastrophe Living. The book explains that your mental state can create more metabolic acids than the food you are eating, in fact two to three times more than the foods that you ingest., it delves into the roles that anger and tension play in heart disease and offers tips and remedies to help you manage chronic pain and reduce anxiety.
Another must-read would be Deadly Emotions: Understand the Mind-Body-Spirit Connection by Don Colbert. The author explains that when chronic anger is present the body has a steady drip of cortisol. Cortisol is nature's built-in alarm system and your alarm should only ring in response to danger, helping you to flee. It is most commonly known as the “fight or flight” instinct. But when you hold chronic unforgiveness, stress and anger that alarm button stays on! Imagine that was what I was doing, are you?
I encourage you to pick up a glass with some water and hold it up, now envision that that is one of your negative thoughts, now continue to hold the glass and ask yourself could you hold that up for years or even a lifetime, because that is what we do with our thoughts, imagine what you are doing to your body!
Medical Intuitive Caroline Myss, says “holding onto past wounds cannot support your body with positive energy, and not forgiving someone is a very powerful way not to heal”.
Also, Mayo clinic and Duke University also have studies to support this theory. It seems as though everybody is on the same page with this now, and recognize that emotional blocks serve as an underlying root cause in illness.
I want to encourage each and every one of you reading my first blog entry to look deep within at your own emotional blockages and accept where you are, what has happened and forgive yourself and others. I know it is a big ask because I don’t know your stories and I get it. But your health is your wealth, do not allow unforgiveness, anger or stress to steal it from you!
“Your wound is probably not your fault, but healing is your responsibility.”